Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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