Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
is it fun? or sober?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
