If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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