I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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