oh god the rape fog is back!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
