remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
