Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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