I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Your cock deserves a montage
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
