i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
