I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
