Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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