I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
cat food counts as protein by the way
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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