Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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