i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
