I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
