Your tits are I can't wait for
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
