wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
