Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
