idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
