she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
