But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
