So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
