I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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