so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
