your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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