were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
