i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
