you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
