Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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