So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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