The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
