This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
