The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
