I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
