If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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