2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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