See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
