I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
