take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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