somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
