Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
