i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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