Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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