Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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