I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
