i barfeds in our rink
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
