are you still at the devil's house?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
