ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
