Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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