Nicole vs. Life
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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