a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
