They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
