Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
